Last week, I went to lunch with two other ladies. Although, my phone is the major artery of my business, I make a point of leaving it in my purse and on silence unless I am in the middle of negotiation and timing is important, in which case, I take my phone and step outside. While we were waiting for service, they were both on the phone as if the socialization doesn’t start until the food arrives. I wish it was something important, but they were just chatting. I was thinking “am I paying money to dine in the phone booth?” what is it about the cell phone which has gone from being a very useful tool to a security blanket? Why people check emails while having lunch with someone? Should we publish an etiquette guide for smart phones? We sure need a guide for ordering starbucks the right way and in the proper lingo!
Speaking of etiquettes; while caught in the middle of the two ladies talking on their phones while eating lunch, I noticed the nice settings; a dinner plate, a salad plate, bread and butter plate, two forks, one knife, one steak knife, one spoon, one wine glass and one glass of water. Almost no room for the food. We had to get rid of the bread – Ouch! It made me wonder – again. What’s up with two forks? The outer is for salad, the shorter glass is for this and that, the sharp side of the knife should be facing east, and the butter, round on ice (how the heck is that supposed to spread?) etc. Who came up with these rules? And, who died and put him in charge?
The funny thing was the little sign on the table stating that they are going green and their paper place mats are from recycled papers. Well, good for them. I wish they’d simplify and use fewer plates, utensils, glasses, etc. Now I LOVE to dine and wine, but can’t it be done with less bells and whistles and more substance? To save, they don’t bring water unless you ask, but imagine the water used washing all these dishes. The dinner plates were the same size as the serving dishes when I was growing up. And, we ate well, thank you. No wonder obesity is a huge deal here. I challenge you to find small dinner plates and medium water glasses. Not going to happen.
On the way home, I began day dreaming of how I would fix things if I had all the money and smart inventors at my disposal. When I got home, I went get the mail from the mail box. It was my new credit card. Darn! Now I have to peel that sticker (why??) activate this card, and tear up the other one. Waste of time and plastic. Why not just be notified by email that my credit card is renewed and put my finger on the store’s finger print reader and press Debit or Credit?
That night, at dinner time, I went to get a plate. I try to use the clean plates from the dishwasher to save time. I am happy that I have an automatic dishwasher which God knows was invented by someone who hated doing dishes like me. But, I still don’t like rinsing the plate, put it in the dish washer (and you know we all have a little system of how to put things in the dishwasher and we like to pass it on to the next generation if we could,) wash them, wait until they are dried and hope that they are really cleaned, then put it back on the shelf, and two minutes later, take it out, use it again and repeat the cycle. This is just not right! I propose to invents something that makes every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen an automatic dry washer. You put the stuff back in the cabinet, press a button and all the dirt turns to ashes and poof it’s done!
About cabinets, can you imagine me getting stuff from the back of the top shelf without climbing? Well, I propose conveyer belt system. You press a button again, and the top shelf comes down and when you are done, it goes back up again. And, now that I am at it, I propose an instant compost compactor. You put the food in, get instant compost out. I do have to say that there is an indoor composter which takes only two weeks for turnaround. Yeah!
And now (the drum roll please) introducing my automatic duster ball which bounces all day and sucks in dust, the uninvited guest. And the little whatever scanner gun that you point at things and they go back to where they belong. Ah, that would really make my day!
No, I don’t want to live like the Jetsons, but enough of useless boring work. I’d rather sit and listen to music, read, drink wine, garden (yap, there is need for many auto-tools there too.) etc.
Dear Santa, I hope you get this list. I promise I will be really good. And, my two front teeth? Let’s wait couple of years and have them all delivered at the same time. I also like to hear what my friends have to say about this. Thank you. Santa. XOXO
Sonia